As the Ruins Fall
by Skydark
Summary: Ten years later and nothing is getting resolved. Someone has to push the envelope. RoyEd.
1. always end where I begin

Here he was again; all strung out and irritable. It was rare to have a visit that included any other mood. But he opened his door and stood back to let the herald of gloom into his house and trailed after him into the living room where said herald parked his miserable ass on the couch. He threw his legs up onto it, offering a glare, as if daring any criticism of his selfishness, and Roy knew it was just better to leave him alone and let him brood. He'd work up to his latest rant eventually. He'd been doing this for the last ten years.

Roy moved into the armchair, crossed his legs, laid his paper in his lap and waited. It usually didn't take Edward that long to start talking. He wasn't aware that Edward had made it back into Central. He felt no need to keep tabs on the adult as he had on the teenager. Better to let him go out and live, work off some of his wild energy; let Alphonse handle the worst of it before he came slinking back to his lair, or rather Roy's lair, to lick his wounds and collect himself before the next excursion.

"Where is your brother?" This was always the opening line, Roy made as if to lift his paper in indifference and Ed snorted from where he was becoming one with Roy's sofa cushions.

"Ditched me for some herbalist in Kreshing, I don't expect it will last long, she's rather evil," Ed toyed with the ends of his ponytail. "I guess Al just likes utter bitches, they say opposites attract."

"Where's Amalie...Amelia? What was her name?" Roy asked, letting the paper sag in his hands.

Ed said nothing for several long moments, twisting the end of his ponytail then slapped himself in the face with it, he shifted in the cushions.

"I don't know, in the arms of some brutish drachman is my best guess, I obviously wasn't man enough for her. I read books, y'know," he grate out, then stared at the ceiling.

Roy straightened the paper up then, jiggled his foot a bit, rattled the newsprint.

"You're getting quite the list," he said. "Not that I am any sort of advocate for monogamy, but you certainly are taking full advantage of playing the field."

"Just what I wanted to hear, I'll end up a washed-up career military has-been who sits around at night getting his jollies from reading the obituaries to see which rival for the political seat that should be rightfully his had died," Ed growled. "I'm so looking forward to my early senility, thanks for being such an excellent role model."

"Well you've already picked out my couch as the place where you'll waste away," Roy said, turning a page of the paper, "it's not like you should be all that shocked. What was it this time? Surely you're not seriously saying she dumped you because you read to much."

"She got all bent out of shape. There was this lecture circuit on biomechanics and I just decided to follow it from college to college for a month or two. I mean I was _studying_, when you study you need time to do it properly, and _no_, I couldn't be bothered to call her or write her during that time. She was _fine_, she was living with her sister and working at that fancy hotel. What did she want me to do, hang around and breath down her neck every day? Sometimes I really don't get chicks. I mean, for fucks sake, don't they ever want any _alone_ time?"

"Not while they're in a relationship," Roy said from behind the wall of evening news.

Ed heaved himself up from the couch and went to the small wooden bar at the other end of the room. He squatted behind it and dug around on the shelves.

"I'm sure they're stale by now," Roy said, deciding which bit of evening news was really worth reading, "it's been months since you were last here."

"Doesn't matter," Ed found the pack of cigarettes and book of matches. He fished one out and walked to the front door, he opened in and leaned in the doorway, used three matches to get it lit and looked out onto the street. He had Marilyn and her constant need of smoked drenched, cheap swill, music battered bars to thank for this occasional habit.

Roy folded the paper and sat it aside, listening to Ed shift and breathe in the doorway behind him. How many times had this scenario played itself out? How many times had he watched Ed wander about his house, depressed and bitter thinking there really wasn't anyone out there for him? It was becoming to many times to count, and it was becoming a bit worrisome. Each failed connection made Ed more cynical; each doomed tryst made him more reserved and resignated. If only he weren't _Ed_ , with all his eccentricities and brilliance and talent. If only he were normal; but that wasn't something he was ever likely to be.

There had been a time, long ago, when Roy had let himself toy with the idea of keeping Ed close. There had been a time when Roy had seen this very sentiment reflected in Ed's eyes. But who was he to keep Ed bottled up from the world? It wasn't proper, it wasn't healthy; no matter how old Ed's soul seemed, he was still to young to know exactly what it was he wanted, and Roy couldn't take advantage of that.

So he'd kicked Ed out into the world despite all of Ed's attempts to foil his plan. He'd ignored the logic, he's ignored the threats and in the end he'd forced himself to ignore the pleas. He didn't have time, he told himself, to babysit Ed through what was likely to be the most disastrous affair of a lifetime. He didn't have the patience then, he didn't have the heart. All he'd had was the lust, he was quite sure of it, and that was something that Ed would never phantom. It was all or nothing with Ed, and quite frankly, Roy had been intimidated. So each time he came back, as he slowly grew into a man, Roy reminded himself that no matter what, this was the creature that could not be; and he had to content himself with that.

The fact that Ed always did come back was both joyous and painful and he wasn't sure what'd he'd do if Ed did find someone to break the cycle.

He heard the door close, felt a presence move into to the room behind him.

"I hope you put that out before you flicked it off into the bushes," Roy said. "It wouldn't look good for my house to burn down for obvious reasons."

Ed moved to behind Roy's chair, leaned on the back of it.

"I ground it out on the door frame, just like always," he said, the folded his arms on the back of the chair and rested his forehead on them. "Tell me again how the fuck you do this. How you just go on day to day in this place doing the same thing over and over and not having to worry about anyone else. I don't get it, I don't get how you can just be alone."

The urge to touch him was hard to control. Just to reach back and lay his hand on his head was still something he mustn't do, he mustn't ever encourage that he squashed long ago. He longed to find the answers Ed needed, knowing it was fruitless. Unless Ed could be understood, unless the person could see past all the barriers Ed himself had erected, each and every new attempt at reaching out to someone else was going to be met with the same failure.

And that was sad, and Roy didn't want that for Ed.

"There is nothing wrong with being a confirmed bachelor," Roy said patiently, "we've gone over this many times. You just date, but you can't seem to do that Ed, you've never been able to do that. You need to learn to keep some of yourself back. I've never seen anyone rush headlong into something the way you do, heedless of the precautions. We've had this same discussion time and again. I can set you up with a few girls, you could stay here in Central, do your research and when you feel the need to go out with someone you just pick up your black book..."

"Fuck that," Ed jerked up, shoved the back of Roy's chair hard. "You think that's all I want? All that superficial drivel? That might work well for you, but that's not what I'm looking for. I don't want to live the rest of my life with my head up my ass waiting for something that isn't going to happen!"

Roy went silent then, because he knew what Ed was talking about. It wound his stomach in a knot and he folded his hands in his lap. It was better now to let Ed tear about the house a bit and just remain where he was and try not to be hurt. All he'd done for this boy, every sacrifice he'd ever made, every deal he'd ever struck, even now, letting him come here whenever he damn well pleased to talk about his failed sex life, and did Ed honestly think Roy wanted to hear that?

Of course he did, Roy had set this up perfectly. He may not have ever allowed himself the opportunity to _have_ Ed, but he was still in Ed's life. Only, the years hadn't done what they were suppose to, and soften the edge of what he couldn't, shouldn't have, they'd only shown him what he's missed out on.

"Fuck, sorry, sorry," and he was there again, behind Roy's chair. Roy almost felt a hand touch his shoulder, but then it didn't. "Look, I'm sorry, ok? I didn't mean that."

"It's said you never say anything you don't mean," Roy said, stung and perhaps wanting to hear more of that tone out of Ed's mouth. Ed's apologies were always sincere and sometimes beautiful, and it's not as if Roy fished for them, but he was owed on this time, might as well make the most of it.

"If my advice is so abhorrent to you, why do you keep coming back?" Roy pushed further.

"Don't be like that, come on, you know that I mean it when I say I'm sorry. Fuck, look, I just had the shittiest week, cut me some slack. You know, you're the one who said I could come here when I needed to," Ed defended, "so you can't get offended when I say shit because I'm mad."

"You only come here when you are on the ass end of a break up," Roy snorted, "all this is to you is one big venting ground. You know you could come by processionally when you're in a good mood and we could go out to dinner or something."

There was silence now. Long, evil silence that seemed to hang over his head and wind around his chair and keep him there, immobile. He kept waiting, almost holding his breath, and just when he thought it was to much and he was going to have to turn in his chair, Ed spoke.

"No I can't. You made that really clear and long time ago. You remind me of it a lot, too, sometimes. I can't come here in a good mood. I'm not out to be your friend."

Reap what you sew, Roy Mustang. The only person driving a knife into yourself is you.

"That's nonsense," Roy said, not sounding as strangled as he felt. "Of course we're friends, if we aren't, then what are we?"

"Whatever you make us to be," Ed said quietly, still hiding there behind the chair. "This was your decision, not mine. So shut up and listen to me whine already, and tell me the same thing you tell me every time I'm here. Tell me that no one is going to have me. Tell me to console myself with meaningless sex and tell me that you aren't interested, just like you always have for the last ten years."

Roy did turn then, turned his body in the chair and looked up over the back of it to Ed's face. The young man looked drawn and quiet, as his voice had been. When Roy looked at him, Ed's eyes began to search his face, just like they always did, just like they always had, just the same as they had on the day Roy had made it clear that it was never going to be. How did Ed hang on to all that sad hope all this time?

"Ed, I sincerely hope you don't think I've been telling you no one would have you," Roy said, feeling the knot in his stomach grow. "I don't mean that at _all_ . Anyone would be lucky to have you, people should line up on their knees to get a chance to know you. Ed you are _incredible_, and I for one, am grateful I got the chance to know you at all. No, I don't mean for you to have meaningless sex, I just thought it might help you to learn to socialize better and then, when you're ready and you find another girl..."

Ed waved him off angrily, shoved away from the chair and stalked into the kitchen.

"Save it Romeo, I'm starving," he said as he went under the arched doorway.

_Don't follow him._

Don't follow him, it will lead to a discussion, the discussion will lead to an argument. Wounds will open; regretful things will spill out. You don't want this; this is not the relationship you want. You have made this a truth in your mind, don't listen to any other part of your body. Especially not that traitorous organ beating in your chest.

Don't follow him, that is what he wants. He likes to rip and tear at things that are suppose to be closed. He never gives up, he knows that no odd is impossible. He has been wearing you to a nub over the last ten years, he's looking to deliver the killing blow. Don't give in, this isn't what he wants, he just thinks he wants the unobtainable.

_He's not a child anymore._

Don't follow him. He's not a child anymore and you are not the pillar of steel you use to be. You can't still want this, it's been to long. You don't have half of his determination. He's consume you, he'll use you until there is nothing left; and for what? Because he can, because you'll let him.

_Don't do it._

Roy got up from the chair and walked slowly into the kitchen; it was a fitting place to be eaten alive.

Ed was leaning on the sink, hands to either side of the white, porcelain bowl, just looking down into it. He raised his head and looked at Roy briefly when he came in, then turned to look the other way, pushing off the sink, reaching for a cabinet.

Roy admired the back of him. Ed was still short, there was no way around it, but his shoulders were wide, his back was straight and the long tail of his golden hair hung in a straight line parallel to his spine. Ed had always been attractive, both to the eye and to the mind, but never accepting of any acknowledgment of his looks. Ed wanted to be _wanted_ in a whole manner. He didn't want to parcel himself out; didn't want to give up the most desirable bits. It was all or nothing and it shouldn't be any other way.

To want him, to need him would be to open yourself to all the possibilities of him. The drive, ambition and deep, deep regret. Ed would be the most exhausting of lovers, and Roy could see it easily, could all the other's he'd made an attempt at being intimate with see it, too?

"There's nothing to eat in the fucking hovel," Ed said, slamming the only cabinet he'd opened. "You eat out every night, don't you snob? Don't like eating alone?"

"No, as a matter of fact, I don't," Roy said, leaning his hip into the counter, folding his arms. "If you're hungry you can go down to the deli and get take out."

Ed glared at him in silence, and they both stood there, poised as if the tiled floor was a large chessboard and it was time for the other's move.

"Ok, answer this question," Ed said, moving first, "you want to be alone the rest of your life?"

_The first bite._

"I always assumed my political ambitions would make it necessary," Roy shrugged. "Ambition doesn't leave much room for family. You know all about all or nothing, Edward."

"So you've never had a selfish thought then? You're whole being is making the world a better place from...what? Other people? You know, all that shit we went through? We _won_ in case you haven't noticed. We're the good guys, and we actually won. The world is as safe as it's gonna get from what you and I dealt with. Don't you think it's someone else's turn now?"

"It's become a habit," Roy said. "And even if we do turn over the reins, don't you think we should watch their backs, after all, you and I have had the experience."

"You are avoiding the questions, you're very, very good at it," Ed said, reached up to run his hand down the side of his face. "I don't know why I keep coming here, I really don't. You know what, I'm going to lay it on the line. Do you know why I keep coming here?"

"Well I thought it was because we were friends, but you seem to think that's not the case, so I'll admit that I'm baffled," Roy said as casually as he could.

"You would be lost with me," Ed said. "I seriously think you just sit here and wait for me to get tossed out on my ass and come crawling back to you. It's easy and safe for you. You get me, but you don't have to have me, that's it, isn't it? Yeah, all that stuff you said all that time ago, do you think I ever believed you? No, that was bullshit. But I decided that I would make you happy, because that's what people do, you know? When they care they make other people happy."

"I want you to be happy, Ed. I sincerely do."

"You want me to find happy," Ed looked at him for a long moment. "You want me to find it so you can finally let go of that breath you've been holding for ten years. And then what, Roy? Then what do you do? Then you go and find happy? I don't think so. I think then you just become another face in a blue uniform. I think you want obscurity to fade away because you're so fucking unhappy right now. Because you're so fucking scared to do anything that might ruin my chance at happy. You never once, in all this time, considered that it might be some fucking mutual happy thing if you'd just...if you'd just give in!"

"Don't you tell me what I have and haven't considered," Roy said, arms folding tighter. "I have considered every possible angle of this impossibility you speak of and I just don't see how it could work."

"What? Why? Because I got a lousy track record with women? You know what? I'm only doing that to make _you_ happy! I thought you wanted me to go out and get some experience, and then...and then...but you know, ten fucking years is excessive! I won't listen to this you never intended to...I won't! I haven't done this for nothing. We're so busy trying to make each other happy we're fucking miserable!"

_Chewed and swallowed._

Roy took a step back, and then another, he unfolded his arms and turned to walk out of the kitchen.

"NO, don't you run from me!" Ed chased after him, into the living room where Roy turned on him and they both stood their ground.

"Stop this, you can't mean you've been going out and dating for ten years to be good enough for me, that's ludicrous," Roy's voice broke and rose. "Don't you lay that burden on me! You don't know what you're talking about, I'm not...no one is worth that! Ed, I want you to be _yourself_, why can't you see that?!"

"I'm pretty good at being myself, thanks, I don't need you to tell me that," Ed countered. "What about you? What are you doing? You go to the office, you go out once in a while, you hole yourself up in here! That's not who you are, that's not what you are about! What are you doing in here? What are you waiting for, is it me? Here I am, all you got to fucking do is let me in!"

"You are in! You're in and you've always been in, there is no one else I... look, you're just saying all of this on the rebound, you must have really liked that girl. You shouldn't feel so desperate, you're still young, you'll find someone else," Roy cast around desperately in his heart and his mind. "Ed, take a good look at me, I'm old, I'm used up, what can I possibly offer you? You...you've done amazing things, you've accomplished incredible, impossible tasks and here I am, just like you said. I'm here, waiting for nothing because nothing is coming. I'm a pit, Ed, a pit! Open your damn eyes!"

"You think I'm desperate?! I'm not desperate you fucking moron! I want to be with you, and you _know_ it and you're _scared_, admit it! I'm tired of this fucking game and I just want...I just want you! I don't understand why that is so hard to believe! Fucking hell Roy Mustang, when will you open your own damn eyes and see what has been in front of you all this time!"

The room was almost spinning, and he turned away, and showed throat and Ed pounced, literally, knocking him into the couch. He looked up at Ed, who was panting slightly, fists clenched and mouth drawn.

_This is all or nothing, this very night, isn't it, Ed?_

"Tell me you've never wanted me and I swear, I will walk out that door and never bother you again," Ed said, suddenly somber and quiet.

"I've never...," Roy began. All it would take was a lie. All he had to do is tell Ed a lie and then, maybe, Ed would go out and find someone that could be all he needed them to be, someone worthy of all that he was. All it would take was a lie and his world could shrink to his little pigeon hole of existence and he could know that Ed was out there, in what was beyond, having a life and not babysitting a failure.

"I have never...," he continued, feeling the knot in his stomach work it's way into his chest and reach for his heart. Ed's eyes were an open doorway, Roy could see everything there, everything that Ed was putting on the carpet tonight, everything that Ed hope and waited for, and it couldn't possibly be him, it just couldn't. Why was Ed forcing him to do this? Why?

"I have never not wanted you," Roy said, and felt his heart make the ultimate betrayal of all.

Ed's entire body jerked, his eyes widened and his mouth hung open. He looked all around the room as if he didn't know where he was and he reached up and clawed at the collar at his throat.

"Happy?" Roy said tiredly. He then noticed Ed's eyes become overly bright, and Ed turned scarlet and he fled down the hall, slamming the bathroom door so hard Roy's teeth rattled.

He waited for a few moments, looking down the hall where Ed had gone. He fidgeted and rubbed the back of his neck, then finally he got up, walked quietly down the hall and pressed his ear to the door. He could hear some heavy breathing, some sounds like someone trying to swallow something down, against his better judgment he said: "Ed?"

The bathroom door wrenched open and he almost feel inside. Ed glared at him, eyes red rimmed and cheeks wet.

Roy wasn't sure what to do, after all, he thought...well he thought...maybe Ed would be happy. But apparently the confession wasn't what Ed was after. He tried to think back over the conversation, he tried to see what he might have said to illicit such a reaction. Utter confusion made him hesitant and that seemed to make Ed angrier if his reddening face and gritted teeth were any evidence.

"You fucking bastard," Ed howled, " you made me wait ten years to hear that!"

"I thought I was doing it for your own good," Roy tried to reason, Ed was a man, he would listen to reason.

"Ten long fucking years of _knowing_ and you just strung me along," Ed shrieked.

"No, no, I didn't, honestly, I thought it was best you get out and explore and be yourself. You've been around me since you were a child and you didn't know anything other than your quest and it was time for you to live," Roy tried to placate.

"I was all over that the first couple of years you fucking idiot," Ed snarled. "I'm a prodigy so I caught on pretty quick. Fuck, I can't believe you, fuck, I just can't," Ed grabbed up a handful of toilet paper and blew his nose and dropped it in the toilet. "I ought to beat you senseless," he said and sniffled.

"I ought to be beaten senseless," Roy murmured in agreement. "Now that you own me, what are you going to do with me? It seems only reasonable to ask about my fate."

"I'm thinking about it," Ed said and sat down on the toilet after closing the lid, he looked up at Roy. "I think for starters, fucktard, I'm going to make you make this up to me in every way possible. Ten years you pulled this shit. To be honest, now that you finally came clean, I'm at a loss."

"You're not the only one," Roy said, leaning in the doorway.

Ed suddenly pushed himself up, came right up to Roy and looked up at him. His searched Roy's face, but not with the weary, guarded expression Roy was use to, but with something that suddenly began to unravel the knot in Roy's gut.

"I guess I'll be moving back to Central for the time being, I'll crash here until I find my own place," Ed said.

"Alright," Roy conceded, unable to pull himself away from Ed's eyes.

Ed lowered his eyes then, but stayed close. It seemed a sort of hopeful half lean in Roy's direction, and how could he resist that? He reached out slowly and put an arm around Ed's back and pulled him the step closer needed for Ed to be all up in his space. Ed kept his eyes down and Roy just gently rubbed at his back.

"I don't know what to do," Roy confessed, "I never had a plan for this contingency."

"I had lots of plans," Ed told him, "but you kept fucking them up."

Roy leaned down, he pressed his lips against Ed's forehead and just felt the warmth there. Ed hitched in a breath, his own hands moving to grip Roy's sides. Roy pulled back and Ed glanced up at him. Slow, nice and slow, time to learn each other, time to figure this out, that's what they would need.

"If you tell anyone I cried, I'll fucking break both your legs," Ed promised on a whisper.

"Stop it, you'll make me hot," Roy whispered back. Ed poked him hard in the stomach.

Maybe ten years hadn't been long enough after all.


	2. the journey begins where it ended

The true test of any relationship is it's awkwardness.

They seem to have it in spades. Ed's move back to Central meant fetching his things from where he had them in storage, only to store them again in the city while he looked for housing he could afford. For the time being he camped on Roy's couch.

Newly declared feelings did not instant bed fellows make; and there were many nights in the beginning they sat talking in the living room come bedroom before Roy retired to his own room for the night and Ed toyed constantly with the idea of sneaking in there.

But sneaking in to do what? For himself, Ed knew he was a variable virgin in the realm of same sex escapades, and while he wanted desperately to be educated, just the thought of _asking_ Roy made him shrink to half his side in internal embarrassment, and yes, begrudgingly, he admitted that that would be rather_small_.

Still, he was all for a slow courtship, and Roy seemed to be of the same mind. It was a few days after their declarations that they actually kissed. For Ed it was a rushed affair, he gripped Roy by the front of his uniform before he went out the door and yanked him down to a more acceptable level before grinding his lips on the appropriate place on Roy's face. At least, he thought it was the appropriate place, his eyes were closed so it was hard to tell. But Roy made the best of the situation and soon turned it into what Ed had intended it to be in the first place, and when Roy pulled back Ed felt a little stunned and new.

He'd never gotten hard from a kiss before.

The rest of the day had been one long distraction. It aggravated Ed to no end, he _had_ to get his own place, and soon, if just so he could think properly. What was all that about? Rubbing lips made the front of his pants all happy. Was that magic or some shit? Did Roy use alchemy on him? What was that all about? He wasn't _easy_. Every girl he eventually took to the sack had to _earn_ it. After all, he was the celebrity, a former state Alchemist, and one of the most famous. He could have any woman he wanted, _(except the fucking Colonel, who while technically wasn't a woman, was still the same thing. He'd wear the Colonel down even if it took fifty years, thankfully, it only took ten)_, so it wasn't like he just handed it out.

It really irritated him that he did have ten years of experience and Roy could look at him and drop his voice a little and Ed _squirmed_. The fuck. Ed wasn't sixteen anymore, Roy was graying and had love handles, this was not some wild, desperate crush...or was it? Could it be that this was all a hold over from ten years ago? That was an unsettling thought.

He really had to get a place of his own where he could have some alone time to work this out.

But Roy was absolutely no help. Roy was gracious, solicitous, attentive. He hid the classified section of the newspaper, he often hinted that it would be little to no trouble to add a spare room to the house. He just didn't see the need for Ed to have his own place. It was a waste of money, and Ed didn't drive and Roy had a car, and just a dozen little things. Ed had no dishes, furniture, flatware, towels...whatever! Ed got it, Ed had nothing that ever spoke of a single existence of any great length that didn't involve a girl's apartment or bachelor hotel living.

And here he was again, not getting anything accomplished. He was starting to feel like a lump. He had to get a job and soon, camping in Roy's house waiting for him to get home from work was not his ideal way to be spending his days. Maybe he should do something around the house, after all, he was pretty much being put up here for free and he hated to feel like a freeloader. Maybe he should cook dinner. Yeah he should cook dinner and have it ready by the time Roy got home. That was if Roy had anything edible in the house. Roy's kitchen was usually the worst kind of wasteland. Even the roaches had moved on or starve. He should go and buy some groceries. Roy ate out all the time, and that couldn't be good, and while Ed wasn't the cook Al was, he was passable and he'd picked up a few things in his day. Roy would probably be happy if Ed cooked him dinner. Roy might take that as some kind of sign Ed was settling in though. Still, a good home-cooked meal was what Roy needed.

What the fuck.

Why the fuck should he be cooking that _bastard_ a home-cooked meal like some kind of fucking housewife? Was that Roy's master plan? Roy wanted him around the house to cook and clean and eventually have sex, _(Ed hoped)_. What. The. Fuck. Ed housewifed for no man! No just any man either, for no woman! Hell he never housewifed, he wasn't a wife, he wasn't even a girl! How dare the bastard do this to him and stick him here in this house like he had nothing better to do! He wouldn't have a home-cooked meal waiting for him tonight but a good old fashioned ass stomping. That's pretty much what he deserved, pulling this shit, after ten years, all that grief just to get free maid service. That utter bastard.

He stormed off to Roy's study to look for the evening paper again. Roy read it like it was some sort of life instruction guide, and then it promptly disappeared. It was some great Roy Mustang conspiracy to keep him there in the house out in the suburbs. When the paper failed to turn up, he went to his suitcase and dug out the scrap of paper with the last known phone number Al had been near and dialed it up. He learned, that as usual, Al had already moved on. The herbalist let Ed know just what an amazing man his brother was, and how it wasn't fair to try and hold him there in that one place when the world might need him. How selfless he was, how compassionate, if only there were more men in the world like Alphonse Elric, it would be a better place to be.

Ed hung up the phone and wondered where Al was and who he was bullshitting now. It just wasn't fair, Al could get a girl, screw her for a week until the need to screw something had faded, make up some grandiose tale of saving the world and waltz right out the door and they all fucking loved him. Ed could study like there was no tomorrow, spend whole days in the lab or library without sleep doing his own part to save the world and he was a insensitive, unthinking, thoughtless bastard. At least, according to Cheryl.

Well he showed all of them, after all, he'd snagged the most eligible bachelor in the whole of Central. The man whose mere reputation caused woman to swoon all across the continent. Well, that was his impression when he was younger, no, it was still good. Ed had done very well for himself. Roy wouldn't think he was being a jerk when he was gone for days or weeks pursuing knowledge. Roy wouldn't make him meet any relatives or spend money on frivolous things like flowers and restaurants. Roy wouldn't expect him to listen to what he had to say when what he was saying was dead boring. Roy wouldn't ask him those trick questions about what made him look fat or thin, _(he NEVER got that right)_. Roy could appreciate him for his mind, not just his looks or his wallet. He was set for life.

With a man.

Roy Mustang was a man.

Ed was sure that in all these years he hadn't failed to notice this. Roy being male, after all, pretty much all the time. And Ed was a man. Ed _knew_ he was a man because he'd handled all the equipment and was in working order. So, Roy was a man, Ed was a man and neither of them was a woman. Into this equation Ed wanted to introduce sex. Now, until this moment, that seemed like the thing to do, have sex with Roy and pretty much be around Roy for the rest of his natural days. And it wasn't like he was stupid, _of course_ he knew was sex between two men would be like. There would be a guy on top and a guy on bottom and it would be like, well there were _orifices_ and both of them had them. Tab A, slot b, yes that was how it worked, but did that make the man on the slot b side...less of a man?

It struck him funny that he hadn't really thought this through as much as he thought he had. In fact, what would being with another man entail other than eating and drinking and sex? Which one of them would do the laundry? In Ed's various relationships, _(the term used very loosely)_, it always seemed the girls were eager to do the things like laundry, and cook, and pick out where they were going, what he was wearing, who their mutual friends would be. Ed just sort of assumed that was the female job. At least, they all seemed to be highly trained in these details of life.

So what were they going to do? They were both guys, how would the laundry get done? Ed could cook well enough he supposed, but what about all the other things like cleaning the toilet? Ed tapped his chin. Roy's house looked clean enough, everything was always in order. The toilet was always clean. Roy never smelled so besides taking baths he must do laundry. Well, that was alright then, Roy could do the girl things that often baffled Ed. Did that make Roy slot b? Ed's eyebrows rose.

This was going to need some serious discussion. Perhaps a research paper or two. Since he was the self-proclaimed provider of food, he figured it wouldn't hurt to have a meal waiting for Roy when he got home.

So he went to make one.

Only, there was no food in Roy's house. Not a spec that Ed could find, other than ground coffee. How the hell did the man eat? Ed tried to think back on all his past visits, and as he did, he realized that whenever they did eat, it was always take out. In fact, he'd accused Roy of snobbery for always eating out. And here he was stuck without a car and now way to go get any food, did Roy take _that_ into account when stranding him here in the first place?

Fucking suburbs, fucking general.

Now of course, he was starving.

The gale force winds of hurricane Elric blasted him the moment he walked in the door.

"What the HELL was I suppose to eat trapped out here in the middle of the fucking boonies?! You and I are going to have a talk about this and everything else I had time to stew over while I sat here and starved! I got a lot of questions, we got a lot of parameters to go over. I'm thinking for starters we need to figure out the tab a, slot b business and another thing, how is it you do laundry? Don't you need a machine for that?"

Roy stood and blinked at Ed who looked unbalanced and disheveled in his front walk way.

"Let me take you to dinner," he offered in lieu of any answers, because he wasn't really sure what it was Ed was wanting an answer to.

"Ok," Ed said, "I'll find my boots, but this isn't over," and he disappeared back into the living room.

Roy wasn't sure what was started in order that it should be over. Obviously leaving Ed along to brood during the daylight hours was a bad idea. Then it hit him.

He was taking Ed to dinner.

He was actually going to go out in public, with Edward, to a restaurant. They would sit at a table and have conversation and they could talk about all manner of things, not just Ed's latest failed shack-up. It would be refreshing, to have actual conversation with Ed. It's something he thought about more often than he liked, and here he was, taking Ed out. He looked forward to it.

Ed slammed back into the hallway, askew but dressed, he hastily put his hair up in a sloppy ponytail and gave Roy a flat mouthed frown.

"Let's go, and nothing frou frou, I hate smarmy trendy assed places," Ed yanked the door open and stomped down the walk.

No, really, Roy thought, this was going to be wonderful.

Roy made a motion with his head, he held up two fingers and the waiter beckoned. He smiled at Ed, who'd been pretty quiet on the car ride over and led him to the table the waiter indicated. He started to pull out Ed's chair, but Ed snorted loudly, grabbed the back of the chair himself and almost looked like he was going to bare his teeth.

Alright, no chair pulling for Ed.

Ed sat and immediately began to fiddle with the things on the table. He pushed his rolled napkin with silverware back and forth, he changed the position of the salt and pepper shaker caddy, he inspected the little white bread plate and rubbed at what seemed to be an imaginary spot.

"I'm sorry, I forgot there is nothing to eat in the house. We'll stop on the way back and make sure to get some things for tomorrow..." Roy said.

"About that," Ed returned, ceasing his table examination, "I was thinking maybe I should just go ahead and get a furnished rented room in town until I can get a place."

"Ah," Roy said, fingering his own napkin roll, "well that is certainly an option. You could go into the office with me in the morning and make your inquiries from there. I'm sure it won't be to difficult and we can move you in tomorrow night if you like..."

"So you want to be rid of me," Ed said.

"What? No," Roy said, surprised. "I don't want to be rid of you. You're the one who brought it up. I can imagine it must be pretty boring for you at the house all day, at least in the city you'll be able to get to places easily enough."

Ed rubbed his face, folded his arms and sat back in his chair. The waiter delivered menus at that point and glasses of water. Roy took a moment to down some of his, then opened the menu flat on the table. Ed didn't open his menu, he just rocked back and forth in the chair, arms folded, hands in armpits.

"I don't know what it is I'm suppose to be doing," Ed finally said. "When you're not there I have all these crazy thoughts that I don't have when you're around," he admitted. "Like I spent all day today thinking about how you wanted to trap me in that house to be at your beck and call, and who cleaned the toilet?" He laughed at himself a little. "I thought about you being a man, and it's not like I don't know that, so don't take that wrong, but I thought about...us. You know, both men, together."

"Are you having second thoughts?" Roy said quietly, "I can understand if you are, truly Edward. You have had the most remarkable childhood and maybe you think of me as a safety net of some sort, and I think it's perfectly normal that you thought there was something more..."

"Shut the fuck up," Ed hissed. "No, there are no second thoughts, no I'm not looking for an out, I _know_ this is what I want and will you quit with this noble bullshit." Ed shifted in his chair, unfolded his arms and put his hands on the table, leaning forward a bit. "I just wonder about things. All this time not having you I spent in the company of _girls_. Girls like to take care of things, in fact, they took care of everything. I guess I should have appreciated it more at the time. So I feel a little lost because all these small details I hadn't sweated all came rushing in; and maybe I'm being stupid but I can't help it. I try to see the big picture," Ed gestured with his arms, "and our big picture comes down to how do we negotiate this thing we've started? Where do I fit? Where do you fit? Where do we _start_? I've waited long enough, I want some starting to go on. And yes, how do we have sex?" Ed glanced down at the table, "I wonder about that, too."

The waiter chose that moment to come back and Ed hastily snapped his menu open realizing he was behind and Roy probably already knew what he wanted. As Roy told the waiter his order, Ed found that even though he was hungry, it wasn't exactly food he was hungry for; it was knowledge that maybe Roy had all the answers or was just as confused as he was. In the end he just jammed his finger at a dish and practically threw the menu at the waiter to make him go away.

Roy watched the waiters retreating back, then looked at Ed and smiled. He leaned forward over the table a bit, in a conspiratorial fashion and Ed leaned forward, too, ready to have the wisdom of men living with men imparted to him.

"Well, for starters, I have a maid," Roy told him. "So, in essence, I have a girl who will sweat all that small stuff, like cleaning the toilets." Roy leaned back then, sighed a bit. "As for the other," he said, "I didn't mean to trap you at the house, I guess I didn't think about it to much. It's definitely not my intention to keep you at my beck and call, but having you close? I won't deny that I enjoy _that_. I like knowing where you are and what you are doing instead of you dropping on out of the blue and wallowing on my couch. So I'm guilty of that, at least. For us being men together? I guess it depends on how you want to present us, together. If you'd rather not make it a matter of public concern I can appreciate that. Discretion is not a crime and is sometimes a boon. Men together is not exactly an accepted norm of our society, I can understand some hesitance to acknowledge that sort of relationship in mixed company."

"You've had your head up to many politician's asses," Ed sighed. "I feel like a fucking hypocrite for even thinking something like that," he reached up to worry the flap of his rolled napkin. "I'm not ashamed, I don't care what the world thinks. If I did that, then maybe Al and I wouldn't be here today, the way we are now. Maybe we would have withered away. But you know, what is _your_ opinion on it? I don't want to do anything to compromise you and I'll do whatever it is I need to do to keep that from happening."

Ed felt a nudge on his flesh foot, then another, then a foot pressed itself between his and the general was smiling at him.

"We'll do fine," Roy said. "Like all new things, it will just take some getting use to, we'll find what works for us. I feel a little slow, but I think I've finally twigged onto that tab a, slot b business you were on about earlier."

"You can't say it isn't something we shouldn't talk about, I mean, well I mean I guess I want to know? I mean where you think my role in that would be? Ah, this is fucking embarrassing, I hate you for putting me in this position where I gotta ask," Ed savaged his napkin a bit and glanced up at Roy.

"I love you for asking," Roy said serenely, "and for the record I have no more clue than you do. I think we should just take this one day at a time. Everything is a rush with you, but I understand why."

"Ok, ok then," Ed said, sounding relieved. "So I thought about it some more and I guess I'll take you up on your offer to move in. But I'm fixing up that spare room the way I like it and I'm transmuting a shed out back so I can have an at home lab. I guess the boys at Central HQ will be ok with me being civilian now, won't they? What do they pay civilian contractors now anyways? I ain't giving it away."

"I think I can work something out," Roy said, leaning back as the waiter returned carrying food and setting it on the table in front of them. "I think some of them will be rather pleased you decided to lower your standards enough to work with them again."

Ed gave a wry smile.

"I've lowered my standards a lot these last few days," he teased, then sobered a little. "I don't think I'll ever regret it."

"I'll see that you won't," Roy said.

In order to avoid further sentimentality they both turned to the plate in front of them and started to eat.


	3. three's company

And things began to start.

First off, Edward got a job in the city. Not with the military interestingly enough, but with a pharmaceutical firm that practically fell over themselves just to have him apply. It was good, he was happy. He was able to establish his own schedule and have lunch with the general every day.

Things were looking up. The weekends were now spent with the house, modifying in, adding onto it and rearranging it to accommodate the needs of both of the men in residence. Edward's inner artist, who liked gargoyles and crown molding turned his room addition into quite an interesting and eclectic place to be. Roy often visited and occupied a large stuffed chair, _(secretly installed in the room to encourage his visits)_, and they talked and theorized, sometimes well into the night.

The kissed, and quite often. They kissed in the bath while they go ready for work, they kissed in the kitchen while eating toast and drinking coffee, they kissed before they went out the door, and they kissed quickly in the car before Roy dropped Ed off at his office.

All in all, this two men together thing was working out quite well.

For Edward, he came to realize slowly, as he spent his first two months in his new relationship that the feeling that he was missing something; that something better was waiting just around the corner; had slowly receded to be not a feeling at all. This, in itself, was a very amazing and calming influence. He no longer felt restless and edgy; he no longer sought out ways to maximize his distractions. He no longer _searched_ for something to occupy him. Just going home at night, sharing a meal and conversation was all he seemed to want all along.

And there were times that he felt so grateful he should tell Roy; but that was embarrassing and he preferred to think that perhaps Roy knew, anyways. It was selfish, perhaps, but they were only two months in, and Roy kept insisting they needed to take it slow. So there would be time enough to tell him, when he didn't make his throat so dry or make his hands shake so much.

In the midst of discovering this bliss, a letter came to him by way of Roy's office. Alphonse always knew the best, and most assured way to contact his brother when they parted, was to write him at his former place of employment. It had always been inevitable Ed would turn up around Roy and the letter could be passed on. Deciding to share his newfound domesticity, Edward wrote to his brother, inviting him for a visit, _(and to give his blessings, Ed just thought it appropriate Al did so)_, and perhaps stay a bit in Central so the brothers could have some time to reconnect.

And so, Alphonse appeared.

* * *

Ed hurried to open the door, grinning at the honk of the taxi and he threw it open and threw his arms open as well. His younger brother walked right into them, and they hugged and laughed just like they always had, so very happy to see each other. So very glad to be together.

"I'm here to make it all better," Al assured, he picked up his suitcase and followed Ed into the living room. He put the case on the couch and opened it. There were several cylindrical objects in it, looking to be wrapped in Al's clothing. Al plucked one up and unwrapped it, brandishing it toward his brother. "Post break-up beer, all the way from Xing," Al grinned merrily. "Taken right off a cart heading for the royal court. See the lengths I go to to cheer you up?"

Ed took the bottle, clutched it to his chest eagerly and grinned himself. Xingian beer was a wonderful boon, how lucky he was to have such a considerate little brother!

"And what huckster told you that story?" he asked. "And why are you bringing to me as a post break-up present? That's been over for months."

"Well I figured that was the reason you're still here," Al said, pulling out a few more bottles and setting them on the coffee table. "Not like you to stick with the General so long, I was getting worried, I thought maybe you know, this girl had really done you a number."

Ed made a snort and waved his hand, he came over to pick up a few more bottles.

"Not even worth half of one of these beers, come on, we'll stash them in the ice box." It occurred to Ed, as he and Al carried their prize to the kitchen, that maybe he hadn't been as clear in that letter as he'd thought he had. That maybe his brother had come to visit not knowing. Not knowing about the two men together thing.

"Well at any rate, I'm glad to hear it," Al said, standing by and passing off bottles to be stored. "It's not like you to mope. So the General is being really generous then, letting you stay on. What are you planning to do here? Pick up some contract work? Get some money together for another expedition?"

"Um, no," Ed said, "the truth of it is, Al, I live here now."

Al continued to pass over the bottles, his eyebrow quirked and his mouth pulled down on one side.

"You mean, here in Central? You've decided to settle down? Well I can't say I blame you, you would think with all the traveling we did as kids we'd be really sick of it. But I can say I'm not, at least not _yet_ and I enjoy it not only for the sake of research, but just because I'm finally doing it for myself and not for some quest."

Ed nodded and finished storing the bottles and shut the icebox door. He leaned back on it and tried again.

"No Al, I mean I live here, with the General," Ed said.

"You mean, in the same house?" Al took a step forward, lowered his voice as if this was some sort of conspiracy in the kitchen. "At the same time?"

"Yes," Ed said. "And you don't have to whisper, he's not here right now, but he'll be home to join us for dinner. He's a work, he can't write his own ticket like I can, you see," Ed grinned. "I guess it's pretty surprising. I guess my letter didn't say what I wanted it to say."

"I guess not since I cut short my trip and rushed all the way back here to get drunk with you and bitch about women, but oh well, it's still good to see you," Al smiled and shrugged.

Ed folded his arms, still leaning on the icebox, he worked his jaw a moment.

"I know that look," Al said, " you want to tell me something but you're not sure where to start. What's going on? Is it something to do with living with the General now? You're not in any sort of trouble, are you?"

"No, not trouble, actually," Ed said slowly, "and quite being so damn perceptive, I'm working up to it. Let's go in the living room," he said and pushed off the ice box, headed that way, "I think it will be easier to tell you this sitting down."

Al made a questioning noise but followed Ed and found himself a good place to sit on the end of the couch. But Ed didn't sit right away, instead he paced a time or two around the coffee table before he sat on it, facing Al.

Ed put his elbows on his knees and templed his hands a moment in front of his mouth and then he dropped them and looked at Al frankly.

"I've decided to try a new spin on relationships," he said. "The way it was going for me before wasn't working out. I guess you knew that though, you've gone through every break-up with me and I'm grateful to have you. So, I decided to try something I'd been trying for a long time. And guess what, it's paid off, I think I have a real shot of making something that's going to last."

"That's great, brother!" Al grinned and scooted forward on the couch a little, their knees almost touched. "Tell me about it, I want to know! Do you have a new girlfriend already? What's her name?" he asked eagerly.

"We're taking it really slow, sort of feeling each other out, you know, like a probationary period," Ed said carefully, "but let me tell you so, that so far? It's great. I've never been so... at ease before, you know? I've never felt so accepted and I don't feel the pressure to perform or be someone I'm not. It's really, really going well," Ed said.

Al was grinning ear to ear and he was jiggling one knee. He did this when he was excited or happy.

"Do I get to meet her, or am I part of the slow part? I swear I would be on my best behavior and you know that I know how to make a good impression. And I won't quiz her, I promise, the only reason I quizzed Roquelle was well, because, well you know why, I mean you lived it. I am SO happy to hear this coming out of your mouth, I'll be honest, I was starting to worry. I mean I'm not like you, I'm not looking for that deep and meaningful, soul fulfilling partner. I mean, not at this _moment_, I mean sure I want that, sure, but I'm not like you. You're looking to settle down, you have been for quite a while and this is incredible, this is wonderful. Do I get to meet her tonight? Is she having dinner with us and the General?"

Ed templed his hands together and rubbed his palms hard for a moment. If it hadn't been flesh on steel, Al mused, he probably would have seen sparks. Then Ed slapped his knees, took a deep breath and straightened his back.

"You could say that," Ed said, "in fact, you could say she is the General."

And Al cocked his head to the side and waited for the punchline.

* * *

Only it seemed to be the joke that would never end.

"I thought you just said the General was a girl," Al prompted his brother with an uncertain grin.

"No, he's not a girl, but he is the relationship I was talking about," Ed said, lacing his fingers and resting his arms along his knees.

Al rubbed his own palms up and down his knees for a moment and turned his thoughts inward, trying to process what it was his brother was telling him. Ed fidgeted on the coffee table, when Ed's leg jiggled it mean uncertainty and nervousness. Ed's jiggle was not a happy jiggle, Al had the happy jiggle. They both kept glancing at one another and then away.

"Alright, to see if I'm understanding this correctly," Al said slowly, "you have moved in with the General in order to have a relationship with him in the manner a man has a relationship with a woman."

"OH there you go," Ed said, throwing his hands in the air, "whenever I do something you don't approve of you have to phrase it in the worst possible terms!"

"That is so not true," Al hissed, "and there you go again, reading into my sentences before they are even out of my mouth! How did stating the situation turn into my approval or disapproval?" Al flailed.

"Come on AL, it's the way you said it, you know what I'm talking about!" Ed flailed right back. "You said 'in the manner'," Ed mimicked with falsetto, "that is Al snotty talk for, What the fuck are you doing, Ed? What the fuck are you up to this time?"

"Quit being such a bone-head!" Al yelled. "You're imparting important, life changing information and you don't expect me to react? Oh wait, I know! You wanted me to jiggle up and down and tell you how happy I am that you are coming out of the closet, and when I didn't do just that you got defensive!"

"I didn't say you had to jump for joy or anything, but you didn't have to pull snotty, testy Al out on me either," Ed shrilled, "So yeah AL, I'm shacking up with the General, how's that for some apples?!"

"You know, I always expected something like this out of you, but why, for the love of Pete, did you have to drag the General in with you?" Al huffed. "I can deal with you liking boys, but the General? Dammit Ed, why didn't you keep your hands to yourself?!"

Ed sputtered and jump to his feet, gaping down at his younger brother.

"For your information, _Alphonse_, I haven't laid a finger on him! And he hasn't laid one of me, either! The way you're carrying on I almost think you're jealous! Well too bad, I've been working this angle for the last ten years and I got him first! There are just some things we aren't going to share," Ed blustered.

Alphonse seemed to seize up with a through so horrendous the very veins on his temples stood out and he gasped for air.

"I did so not need that image!" Al declared and rolled himself off the couch. "I like girls! I like girls, Ed! I like them a lot, I'm a lot more interested in doing things with girls that I would ever be..." and Al turned practically green. "GIRLS, ED! And it looks like I'll have to be extra straight to make up for the both of us!"

"What the hell does that mean?!" Ed shrieked, flapping his arms. Taking off in a lap around the coffee table.

"I don't know!" Al shrieked back, "It just seems like the thing to do!" Al said right on his heels.

"I don't know what your hang up is with my sexuality," Ed said, making another circuit, "seems a little strange for you to be obsessing on," Ed pointed out, shaking a finger as he made yet another lap.

"I'm not obsessing on your sexuality," Al snarled, right behind him and keeping up well. "I'm just wondering why the General thinks this is a good idea! I mean, he likes _girls_, he's always liked girls! I don't know why he'd switch teams so abruptly! What did you say to him? Do you have something on him?!"

"You know, I don't have to blackmail people to get them to like me," Ed growled, baring his teeth and speeding up, "I gave that up a long time ago! You know what's even more disturbing here, AL? The fact your obsessing over Roy's sexuality. You know, the man got around. I'm pretty sure he didn't limit himself to one sex or the other, I think he's a well rounded player!"

"That may be true," Al said, starting to pant a bit but keeping up gamely, "and I'm not saying it not! I just want to know what your intentions for him are!"

"Since when exactly did you become Roy's mother?!" Ed demanded. "My _intentions_ for _him_? What about _his_ intentions for _me_?! Just who's side are you on here?!"

"I'm on the side of what the hell is going on and how did I get here in the first place," Al said, picking up his pace to try and pull up along side Ed. "I'm really starting to think I'm the only sane member of this family!"

Ed made a sharp turn and his trajectory took him out of the living room and down the hall. Alphonse took the detour and well, staying in Ed's wake.

"Did the General add an addition onto the house?" he quizzed his brother's back, "The hallway seems a lot longer and I don't remember this door coming up at the end."

"I added the addition," Ed threw over his shoulder, "and this is _my_ room." He slammed through the door and headed straight for a large boxy shape that might have been a desk but it looked more like a repository for books, old newspapers and dirty clothes.

Ed began to push the mess around, letting it spill over onto the floor and Al restrained himself mightily. He no longer picked up after Ed, he'd done his time. Ed grew more and more agitated and then began to yank open drawers. He pounced suddenly, pulling out a brown notebook, bound it what looked like leather and flipped it open and stabbed his finger onto a page. He then grinned at Al in triumph.

"Found it, look at this Al, it's my pros and cons list," he said.

"Pros and cons?" Al said, lifting an eyebrow and picking his way forward, trying to avoid stepping on objects strewn over the floor.

"Yeah," Ed said. "Here is all the proof you need as to why the General and I are the perfect match. You don't think I'd just dive into this without some research, do you?" he offered the notebook to his younger brother, and Al took it after a moments hesitation.

* * *

Ed cleared some space on the bed and he and Al sat down. Al spread the notebook over his knees and tapped the page with one fingers.

"Alright, I guess we should start with the pros," Al said. "Sort of like the good news before the bad news thinking." He peered at Ed's list.

"_The General is a General,_" Al read aloud. "That's pretty obvious, but I can see that being a pro," Al said. "Steady job, position of power, good money?"

"I guess," Ed said, "I don't really ask about money. Should I? I don't guess I should. We'll come back to that," Ed waved his hand.

"_The General is a gold mind of networking capabilities and can hook me the hell up,_" Al pursed his lips, nodded and tapped that line. "Good point."

"I didn't end up need that," Ed said airily, "I hooked my self up," the grinned and wiggled his eyebrows. "The cleaned my shoes with their tongue AND give me bonuses."

"You're such a good negotiator," Al said, "I'm surprised you let them get away with only the shoe polishing."

Ed lifted his automail and hand and made as if to study automail nails.

"Well, you know how it is," he said causally, "being an Elric yourself."

Al shook his head, grinning and moved on down the list.

"_The General has a car and can take me where I want to go,_" Al tapped his chin. "You know, you could learn to drive."

"And miss having Roy as my chauffeur, who are you kidding?" Ed asked.

"Shameless," Al sighed, but moved right along, "_The General has a reputation_." Al stopped there, bit his upper lip with his bottom teeth for a few moments. "That means what I think it means, doesn't it?" he questioned.

"Uh, yeah, just skip that one," Ed said.

"_The General is a good man. He always thinks about what's good for his people first, and not just his subordinates in the military. He still thinks about what's best for me even though I don't want him to, and he's good to Al._" Al stopped again and they both sat quietly for a moment.

"Yeah, yeah ok ok, go on, read the cons," Ed said, nudging shoulders with Al. Al nodded and cleared his throat.

"The cons," Al read aloud, "_The General is a bastard_."

"A huge one," Ed intoned grimly, crossing his legs now and kicking his foot.

"That's it," Al said, "that's the only thing on the con list."

"So, all of that before, when you said you weren't surprised I liked a guy...was that true?" Ed asked.

Al closed the notebook and kept it on his knees. He made a casual shrug and pursed out his lips.

"Well brother, you've never exactly been comfortable with girls," he said. "I don't know, maybe Winry damaged you, but even with the girls you were dating you were sort of stand offish. I mean you hardly even wanted to introduce them to me, and it wasn't like you were being possessive of them, but of _me_, like you didn't want to let them into your life. You hardly looked twice at that one girl I was dating, remember Diane?" Al gestured out in front of his chest with his hands. "How could any man who liked women not stare at her?"

"Diane, 'oh these clothes are so constricting let me get comfy', Diane? Geeze Al, you know, for such high standards in your working life you sure don't have any in your intimate life. Sometimes I think you'd do anything in a skirt if it was breathing," Ed grunted.

"For a while I think I would," Al said. "I mean, it was all so..._feeling_. I felt really alive and I just wanted everything, all over me. Girls were good for rubbing all over me," Al sighed. "But I've become a lot more discriminating since then," he assured his older brother.

"Like Ms. Bitch in Kershing?" Ed said, lifting his eyebrows.

"She was hot," Al sighed again, "really hot. It's not her fault you totally besmirched her aura. You do have that sort of abrasive personality. You know the women I screw don't _have_ to like you, just the one I marry," Al grinned.

"Lucky me," Ed muttered.

"The General wears a skirt," Al said with a smirk and a wiggle of his eyebrows, then he took a moment to look horrified at himself. "I mean, not qualifying that for _me_, more of trying to bait you..." he stammered quickly.

"I got it," Ed said, flopping back onto the bed. "I'm not that slow, Al."

"I guess I can wrap my head around it," Al said, patting the notebook. "If it makes you happy, then it makes me happy. I think you've actually liked him for a long time."

"That goes without saying," Ed said, closing his eyes, "I'm just glad he finally got his head out of his ass and decided he liked me, too."

"He's always liked you, he's just a gentleman," Al said, but before his brother could respond they heard the front door open and the General call out a greeting that he was home.

* * *

Dinner was a deli catered affair that Roy picked up on the way home. It was however _extra special_ deli foods, ordered just for the occasion and Ed set the table properly in honor of Al's visit. The beginning of the meal went normally enough, because at the beginning of the meal no one is interested in talking, only eating. It was only after almost everything was gone and the pace of hand to mouth had slowed to a crawl that conversation began to make it's way around the room.

The opening words were pleasant and spoke of many things Al had seen on his travels, Ed's new job, Roy's expanding influence at the office and the weather. Then there was a lull where everyone eyed the remaining food and everyone else's plates. Soon that gave way to speculative glances and shifting in seats, and that eventually led to what needed to be said.

"So, um, General, I hear you and...and brother are... having this thing," Al started, trying hard to sound causal and succeeding in a way warthogs succeeded in winning beauty pageants. "I, uh, well, congratulations? I mean, I'm not sure how you um, for a new couple I'm not sure... what the proper thing to say is, you being a couple with my brother...I'm going to stop now."

"Are you trying to give us your blessing?" Roy said, biting the inside of his lip and avoiding Ed's glare.

Both sets of Elric's at the table turned scarlet and Al tried to look at Ed but ended up studying something fascinating on the floor instead.

"I...I suppose if you need it? I mean, I'm the younger brother and... is it alright to give this blessings? I mean, blessings are traditional and this isn't...not that there is anything wrong with it! But should it have a different set of blessings? I mean should I be thinking a different sentiment when I give blessings other than the other blessings, because, you being not a girl and all...I'll stop now," Al said again.

"Oh for fuck's sake Roy, stop teasing him," Ed hissed. "It's ok Al, you don't got to bless nothing you don't want to bless, I understand. Just ignore Roy, he's being the bastard that's on the list."

"List?" Roy said, raising his eyebrow and tapping his fork on his plate. "What sort of list?"

"The sort that's none of your business. Now lay off Al, he's doing his best," Ed said, pointing with his fork.

"I'm really sorry," Al said, "I'm just...the idea...the _images_... I'll clean up the table!" Al jumped up and snatched up his plate.

"Oh GREAT, you got him guilt cleaning Roy," Ed snarled and jumped up as well.

Roy spread his hands and shrugged, watching Ed chase Al to the sink.

"What did I do, I didn't do anything," Roy said without much conviction. "I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable, Al. I have to say it's been wonderful seeing you, will you be in town long?"

"Tonight, tomorrow night, heading out for St. Marrin the next day, I have a client there I'm going to call on, see if she needs any house repairs," Al said.

"House repairs," Ed mumbled and cast a glance at Roy and then got elbowed in the side by Al. "What?" Ed snorted. "How is it you end up with a woman in every port so to speak? And, how do you keep up with them all? And, you're in a lot better shape than I thought," Ed finished.

"I'm so proud," Roy said from the table behind them. Al gave a little shudder and looked pointedly away from Ed and Ed shot a glare at Roy who merely shrugged again.

"I...I figure that one of us should take up the slack," Al said, attempting humor, but the attempt fell while trying to reach the plateau where lame attempts where suppose to be funny from. Al watched it teeter there on the brink of turning from nervous lame attempt to actual humor, but it lost it's grip and plummeted to the floor, Al even followed it's imaginary trajectory with his eyes and found himself staring at the floor. Ed looked down too, as if he could see the lame attempt corpse right there at Al's feet.

Roy put his elbows on the table and laced his fingers, looking for all the world like he was sitting at this desk at the office.

"Tell us what we can do to make this a better experience for you, Alphonse," Roy said sensibly. "You know that I will do everything in my power to make your brother happy, but that extends to you, as well. Is there something that we can do to make this easier to accept?"

"No, it's not like that!" Al cried. "It's not that I don't accept it, I would never do anything... I mean, it's not that I'm unhappy about it...at least I don't think I am. I just don't understand? I mean, I thought that maybe brother had a crush, you know, back then, but then I though he'd grow out of it. I did a lot of reading about the human mind as well as the body, and that sort of thing isn't as uncommon as society would like us to believe. I guess I thought it was just a phase and he'd move on, but, I mean, he didn't. I mean, you were there for us, so it was natural to have some feelings for you, and Ed feels things a lot more strongly than he'd like us to think, so I thought it was just gratitude or something. I'm babbling," Al said, glancing at Roy, his brother stayed quiet.

"No, it's alright Al, go on," Roy encouraged.

Al took a deep breath, licked his lips, risked a glance at his brother then continued.

"See, I thought Ed liked you like I like you; because you're a good role model. I mean, you're good at displaying the traits we'd all like to see in ourselves. Smart, charismatic, a good leader, ambitious without being corrupt, that sort of thing. I mean, I thought Ed admired you for the same reasons I did, because I'd like to be _like_ you. I didn't expect it to go this far," Al said carefully. "Now I think maybe it was like this all along."

"Now I'm getting weirded out," Ed said, cheeks an amazing shade of crimson. "Because I knew it was like this all along? I'm starting to feel like I've been a certifiable freak my entire life, instead of just lately."

"No, that's not what I mean, either," Al patted the air with his hands. "I'm not saying anything right. I'm not unhappy about this! I'm not!"

"Don't get upset, Al, it's ok, we understand," Roy said, getting to his feet. "No one here will think any less of you for being confused about this situation. I just don't want you uncomfortable in your brother's house, alright? That's all. I know how much you mean to each other, I don't want to get in the way of that."

"Roy's right. We can understand where you're coming from, even if you don't think you're getting it across clearly," Ed said, eager to soothe his brother. "I know you love me, I know you're trying really hard to come to terms with this."

Al stood there between them, looking lost. Ed had never felt so helpless in his life. He looked at Roy and Roy wore a look of concern, but not overtly and finally Al shook his head and ran a hand over his head.

"You know, thank you for letting me a total ass about this," Al said. "I some illogical way, that makes it feel better. I just need to think about this is all; just need to find the perspective that fits me. I'm going to call it a night."

"I'll get the spare blanket and pillows for the couch," Ed volunteered, pushing away from the counter and heading for the kitchen door.

"No, brother, I mean, it's ok. I'm going to get a room. Perspective comes better with distance," Al glanced at Roy. "Some military man told me that, but he was right on the money, it always works."

Ed instantly looked to protest, but Roy crossed the floor then, put a hand on his shoulder.

"It's ok, Al just needs some space, we'll see him tomorrow," Roy said gently.

"Definitely," Al chimed in, going to get his jacket from the living room. Ed pulled away from Roy and trotted after his brother. "Only not for breakfast," Al said, "there is a cute waitress at that cafe not to far from the square if I remember correctly, and brother, you like to sleep in, so I'll see you tomorrow, early afternoon."

Ed walked Al to the door, fighting to swallow the lump in his throat. Al carried his suitcase and declined Roy's offer of a ride into town. Al sat the suitcase down at the door and threw his arms around Ed and Roy stood back and smiled as Al patted his brother's back.

"Stop looking so sad, stop worrying," Al told him. "It's just the usual, I don't know what to do with you," he teased gently, then he pushed back and held Ed at arms length by gripping Ed's upper shoulders. "Things have a habit of working out. Do us all a favor and don't stress yourself and the General out about this. Don't eat lunch, we'll go out, ok?"

Ed nodded hard, made himself speak even though it seemed a struggle.

"Right, don't worry, I'm good with it. I'll be ready tomorrow when you get here. We can hit that old books store, too," Ed said being normal, being casual, trying to hide his tremor.

Al slapped his brother's shoulder, picked up his suitcase and saluted Roy.

"Tomorrow then," he said, then opened the door and walked out. He headed down the walk and turned on the sidewalk, heading for the square.

* * *

They lingered in the living room a bit, doing the usual thing. Ed had dual paper delivery and he always had his own now when they sat to read in the living room. They finished at roughly the same time, glanced at the mantel clock at the same time and both got up to head for their respective rooms. Only this time, halfway down the hall, Ed stopped and looked at Roy. Looked like he might say something, but then he didn't and turned to continue on.

"Do you want me to lay down with you until you go to sleep?" Roy offered softly.

Ed turned back to him quickly and held out his hand. "Yes," he said.

Roy followed Ed into Ed's room, holding his hand tightly and Ed shut the door behind them. Ed's room was always a happy disaster and Roy had learned to live with it as Ed always kept the door closed. He was a little sad when Ed tugged his hand free, but then watched as Ed hastened over to clear books and notepads off the bed. Ed then turned back to look at Roy and looked a bit self conscious, reaching up to rub the back of his neck.

"Would you rather I just sit in my chair?" Roy asked, nodding toward the big chair in the corner where he usually sat while Ed held council from his desk.

Ed shook his head no and without a word started on his clothes. He took them off piece by piece and threw them at a hamper in only the merest vague suggestion of aim, all save for his boxers. He dragged the blanket and sheet on his bed down before climbing up into it, he then looked at Roy expectantly. Roy came over to the bed. He undid his collar and cuffs, the toes off his shoes and took off his belt. He then climbed up onto the bed, beside Ed and sat next to him. They both sat there for a few moments, neither saying anything, then Ed lay down and Roy turned and lay down facing him.

"I keep telling myself in my head this is going to be weird," Ed said softly, "but it's not."

It was then Roy raised his arm, put it over Ed's waist and used it to pull him close.

"It's really not," Ed whispered against Roy's throat and Roy stroked his back until he fell asleep.


	4. call me crazy

**Warning: This chapter is NC-17 for male on male sexual situations**.

Seeing Al off after his visit opened a whole new vista of awkwardness for Ed. Or so it seemed to Roy. He hesitated now, when they kissed, almost as if he was afraid. Even after the night they'd spent, that one precious night, just sleeping in each others arms.

It was like one step forward, two steps back and Roy, for one, was starting to feel something he hadn't felt in a long time. Impatience.

It was one thing to be pacing themselves, that was good, it was what was needed. But it was another thing entirely to not be moving _forward_, but instead dealing with some amount of regression.

Al's visit had been essential. It was the one stumbling block Roy felt they needed to clear before they could finally move their relationship to the next plateau. And even though Al had reacted in a manner than wasn't entirely instant acceptance, neither had he reacted with total negativity. In fact, he'd left on a high note with every indication that he was going to come to terms with it in his own methodical way.

Roy let himself think back to the one night, not so long ago. He hadn't meant to fall asleep there, lying above the covers on the bed with Ed below the covers. He hadn't meant to keep Ed there, in his arms all night and sleep breathing in the scent of his hair. That morning Ed was staring at him when he opened his eyes. Ed had drawn back enough to do this, but he had not pulled himself from Roy's arms. Ed had mumbled about how he needed to get up, get washed, meet Al and Roy of course had work. But the kiss in the bathroom...he could have sworn there was something more there. The way Ed clutched at his arm, the way Ed pushed up on his toes. He hadn't imagined that. And then Al left and now they were back to this.

He toyed with the idea of talking to Ed about it. Ed was, after all, an adult now and they had perfectly adult conversations. What to have for dinner? What was in the newspaper that was worth reading? Who did what at work? Developing an array that would cook steak to the perfect doneness...they had plenty of discussions, all useful, entertaining and _adult_.

Roy allowed these thoughts to distract him all day, Riza had not been happy. Even now, as he sat outside the building that housed Ed's lab and offices, drumming his steering wheel tunelessly he wondered just how to broach the subject without setting off Volcano Elric.

No, that's silly, Roy told himself. That was the Ed of _old_, well young really, back when Ed was new and to honest for his own good. Ed of now had been a far more reasonable creature than Roy was use to dealing with. A new and engaging Edward. An older, mature...who was he kidding? Ed was sexy. He was so sexy. He was all knowledge and grace of movement. He was refreshingly candid and a touch prudish and it was all Roy could do of late not to start _begging_.

Oh ho, but he couldn't do_that_. Ed's head was big enough to eclipse the sun as it was. He saw a familiar figure burst forth from the building and come tearing down the walk. He might have been alarmed if this wasn't the way Ed exited his place of employment every day. Roy likened it to the career giving birth to Ed anew each time he came flying out the doors. Sometimes he had little fantasies that Ed had rigged the building to explode and they only had X-seconds to get away. Either way, his lover, his soon to be lover, oh please YES, his lover came barreling up to the car and snatched the door handle open and jumped in.

"We only got 20 seconds until the blast, floor it!" Ed yelled and grinned.

Roy had let Ed in on that particular little fantasy.

Roy 'floored' it until they had to stop at the building security gate and wait their turn to get out. Ed fiddled with his briefcase, a bit before dumping it in the floorboard between his feet. He lay his head back on the seat and turned to look at Roy, smiling.

Roy's breath took a holiday at the beach for approximately 30 seconds, the longest it had ever left him alone. His breath had obviously decided he and Ed needed some alone time, what with Ed looking so happy and gorgeous.

"Good day at work?" Roy said, pulling up to the gate and nodding to the gatehouse guard.

"It was passable," Ed said, still smiling, "how about you? Productive at war mongering today?"

"You know how it is," Roy said, turning onto the main road, "'encroach a little each day!' is our motto."

"Soon you'll have a finger in everyone's pie," Ed sighed. "Do we have plans tonight?"

Focus on the road. Focus. Don't think things that will make you uncomfortably tight in these military issues pants. Do we have plans tonight? Do _we_ have plans? Well, Roy had plenty of plans, only Ed's newly found sensibilities kept fucking them up. It seemed rude turn about, since he'd fucked Ed's plans up for years, according to Ed. Plans, oh yes, Roy had plans. Many of his plans started with Ed naked or nearly naked or promising to get naked. Roy's carefully drawn out strategies transversed every square foot of the house and which bit of furniture was comfortable enough/could withstand the strain. Roy wanted to plan Edward all night long; but that wasn't looking promising because Edward was being an enigma, and that was infuriatingly not surprising.

"We have to have a talk," Roy said without meaning too and cursed inwardly at his libido. But his libido only snickered and looked unrepentant.

"Ok," Ed said, "what do you want to talk about?"

_Sex. I want to talk about sex. Sex with you specifically. I want to talk about how it will be sweaty, possible dangerous, somewhat traumatic, brain-breaking, awe inspiring, ballad writing, paint peeling, heart palpitation inducing, most incredible moment of my life and if we don't do something soon please just go ahead and kill me. Really, I think death is preferable to being under the same roof with you and not being on you. Crude, but hey, a man has needs._

"What we should have for dinner," Roy said, his libido gasped then clutched it's chest and fell over.

"Ummm," Ed sighed and Roy's groin drooled, "I think you should make me pork chops with apples," he sighed.

"Well have to stop at the market," Roy said through gritted teeth. "We don't have any pork chops at home."

"Ok," Ed said, "we can get some coffee while we're there, too."

_DAMMIT, how the hell was he suppose to WALK?_

* * *

Once the Mustang Mojo was set in motion it was almost impossible to stop. Every little thing Ed did was some brazen tease. Eating pork chops by opening his mouth was a blatant invitation to suck his tonsils out. Sitting on the couch and opening the paper was a blazon display of his body on a surface that was suitable to making him horizontal. Expressing the desire to go and see a movie was a crude suggestion that Roy should feel him up in a darkened movie theater. 

Roy wondered if banging his head on the wall until his skull cracked might be a good distraction. He snapped and crinkled his paper in such a aggressive manner that he caught Ed staring at him from the couch, one eyebrow raised.

"Oy, what are you reading? I want to read that article, too," Ed said. Roy tried to disengage from the paper and it bent in unnatural ways and he finally dropped it on the floor and stomped on it for good measure. Ed watched intently, leaning forward a bit, and then quickly thumbed through his own paper looking for the section Roy was stomping.

"Must be a damn good article," Ed murmured, searching.

"Let's talk about our relationship," Roy blurted and Ed jumped and seized up like every muscle had wandered into the arctic circle unprotected and had frozen.

"No, I'm serious," Roy said to Ed's trapped and cagey expression. "Don't you think we should talk about it? I mean it's been a couple of months..."

"What's to talk about?" Ed said panicky and rushed.

When cornering the Wild Elric, there were things that every hunter should know. First off, Elrics tended to leap right to the Wrong Conclusion. It didn't matter the topic being discussed. Elrics assumed, at least the Edwards did, that each and every serious topic of discussion would lead to a Big Falling Out, or to a lesser degree, A Painful Lesson In Why Life Sucked.

Roy was starting to feel bad. After all, he was only interested in his ailing libido. He tried to take a very relaxed pose and crossed his legs.

"Edward, it's alright, I promise that I'm not looking to make you bare your soul here. I'm so very happy you're here and I was just wanting to see what you thought about your current situation," Roy said soothingly. "That's all, nothing more."

Edward seemed to relax just a bit. He allowed his spine to unstiffen and he wet his lips and snapped his paper.

"So you're looking for an review, is that it?" he asked, still ready to be wary.

"Yes, a bi-monthly review," Roy said, "because I do want to know where I stand, I hope that's alright?"

"In brief summation; I would like to say: you're a bastard, but I came into this knowing that already, never change," and Ed snapped his paper up again, wondering what article brought that on.

And so, Roy let him off the hook for a while longer.

* * *

A week later and something about Roy's friendly and non-pressure bi-monthly review still nagged Ed. 

He was in the lab at Baden, Baden and Hoff Pharmaceutical. He was with two of the other lab assistants, Tweedle-Dee, who's real name was Jay or Jerry or James? Well he knew his last name was Barrow and Tweedle-Dum who's first name, he was fairly certain was Carl. But he might have misheard that, the team leader sometimes called Tweedle-Dum Carl, but who was he to trust the team leader? He knew the team leaders name, it was I Will Have Your Job One Day, but he masqueraded as Bob Cluck, an unfortunate surname that Ed still had to fight not to snicker over every time he said it.

Tweedle-Dee was married. He knew this because he often spoke of his wife and kids to Tweedle-Dum. Tweedle-Dum was single, he knew this because Tweedle-Dum often bragged about this when Tweedle-Dee spoke about his family obligations. Neither of them spoke directly to Ed, they seemed afraid of him, but they spoke around him quite often. Ed preferred their fear, it kept him from having to dispense any sort of advice on subjects he knew nothing and cared even less about. Like soccer practice or band practice or bars teaming with single, nubile women who might give skinny-assed, pasty faced Tweedle-Dum the time of day.

But for some reason, today, their cheerful banter made him think about Roy. And what Roy had asked him and about what he had said. Should he have been so flippant? Maybe that had been some evaluation that Roy would take into consideration about their... their _relationship_.

Here Ed thought he'd escaped all the hazards of the 'relationship talk' by involving himself with another _man_. But he should have known that Roy was such an abirition that the mention of something that would send normal men running for the hills wouldn't even phase him. In fact, it had come from Roy's own mouth. Roy had dared to speak the words that Ed dreaded from every single girl he dated in his disastrous ten-year training program in order to get Roy Mustang.

The trail of women who hated Ed was probably only a dozen shy of being able to circumvent the globe. After all, how could anyone really like a man who saw you as a stepping stone in order to win the affections of_another man_? And it's not as if they _knew_ that, but somehow Ed suspected they figured it out.

Ed was never openly affectionate; not even in the early stages of any of his liaisons with the opposite sex. If the girl really wanted to run headlong into the wall that was Edward Elric, she had to be damn stubborn and hit him pretty hard to get his attention. He made it deliberately so, because he knew good and well what he was doing, even though he would never really admit it to himself. Well at least not his heart, his head however had drawn up battle lines.

First the girls were all very friendly and accomodating. They seemed to enjoy battering themselves against his defenses. They made all sort of overtures and concessions, and if they were going to leave themselves open to it, why shouldn't he take advantage of it? They started with little things; cooking for him, doing his wash, giving him a place to live. That eventually led to the bigger thing, and that of course, was sex. He was always really upfront about sex. He explained the automail and all his scars, just so they knew right of the bat what they would be dealing with when the clothes finally came off. It was always sort of a surprise that none of them seemed to mind. It always made him feel...bad afterwards, especially in the afterwards when the inevitable relationship talk would come up.

It's not like he enjoyed making women cry. Logic never worked on them, either. It came to the point where he would avoid girls he just _knew_ were the type to be heartbroken easily, _(he was never quite sure what his parameters were, but somehow, he just instinctively knew)_, and tried to chose the girls who were capable of giving as good as they got.

But it never failed. No matter how seasoned the girl, no matter how straight forward the relationship, there was always the question.

_Why am I not good enough?_

It was all very simple to Ed. Ed, the most selfish bastard in the world who knew it would never be good enough no matter how perfect the girl strived to make it to be. The answer to Ed was simple, none of them, no matter how hard they tried, were Roy Mustang.

And here he was again, at a cusp, and Roy had the most subtle way of pushing the envelope without pushing it at all. Here was _Roy Mustang_ asking to be sized up and found acceptable. Here it all was, every last second of the last ten long years. Every shouted word, every tear, every feeling left raw in his wake. And Roy was asking now.

_Am I good enough?_

"ELRIC," someone shouted and Ed shook his head and looked at Tweedle-Dee who was gaping at him. His eyes trailed down to the shattered glass beaker and the chemicals bubbling gently on the counter top. "Are you ok?" Tweedle-Dum asked breathlessly, "We should get the building medic..."

"No," Ed said hoarsely, then cleared his throat, "no, it's ok, it's just my metal hand."

His unfeeling metal hand. Nothing got in, nothing got out, it just went on, day to day, serving it's purpose. It was hard, it was tough, it survived. But it wasn't warm, it was never warm.

He wore automail, he didn't want to be automail.

"Procedure is procedure", Bob Cluck, team leader and chicken said from behind his desk. "We need to call the person on your in case of emergency listing."

And so, the general was called.

* * *

Tweedle-Dee sat with Ed in the medic's office. Tweedle-Dee had been told to escort Ed there, as was company procedure by the team chicken, no wait, leader. 

The medic came out and looked at Ed's hand and said he didn't have a buffing machine, and Ed had bared his fangs and laughed in such a way the medic went away and never came back. Tweedle-Dee tried to lean as far away from Ed as he possibly could.

"This is ludicrous," Ed growled at Tweedle-Dee because, well because he was _there_. "I'm not hurt, it's _automail_, look!" Ed slammed his hand as hard as he could into the cinder block wall of the medic's office and the clank made Tweedle-Dee whimper like a puppy. Ed snorted and stood up.

"I'm going back to the lab, I haven't got time to sit around like this, neither have you," Ed said, eying Tweedle-Dee who almost went belly up in submission. "Come on," Ed ordered and stomped out into the hall. He could hear Tweedle-Dee snuffling behind him, more afraid of Ed than company procedure.

He had to tell Roy to disregard his previous bi-monthly review. If he had to beg Roy to throw out those results and let him submit new data, he would. He had to tell Roy that he was amazing. He had to tell Roy that he was giving. He had to tell Roy he was the stable force in his life, finally, after all these years. He had to tell Roy that he _had_ a life now that he had Roy. He had to tell Roy...

He loved him.

It was on that note, on that feeling burning him up from the inside out, that he heard the familiar voice. It must be some sort of illusion brought on by these revelations, because he was still in a restricted part of the building, but then he heard the laugh that could only be the laugh of Brenda from Reception. Brenda on the Prowl. Brenda the Eternal Huntress, who stalked everyone in the building except Tweedle-Dum, apparently. Brenda the Chronically Single was talking to Roy.

She spotted him before Roy did and did her little wave and giggle.

"Oh_Edward_, there you are! I was just bringing your friend,_General_ Mustang to the infirmary. Silly me, I don't know one rank from another and he had to correct me twice. Why didn't you ever mention you knew such a handsome man?"

Five strides and Ed was there in front of Roy. He practically ripped him from Brenda's grip, pushed him against the wall, climbed him like a tree and kissed him like he had nothing to lose. Kissed him like tomorrow was never coming. Kissed him like he was doing a mouth to tonsillectomy. Right there in front of Brenda and Tweedle-Dee. Like he gave a flying fuck.

He pulled back so they could both breathe for a moment, and Roy looked stunned and flushed and _beautiful_, there, trapped against the wall, arms full of Ed.

"Take me home, I hurt my hand," Ed said.

"You're hurt?" Roy managed to gasp. "Has the attending medic seen you? I'll get you to the hospital myself..."

"It's my right hand," Ed said serenely, "I need to go home."

Roy sat Ed on his feet and looked at Brenda and Tweedle-Dum, both of whom were standing there quietly. He brushed down the front of his uniform and reached up to ruffle his bangs just so.

"Please tell Edward's supervisor that I'm taking him home," he said smoothly to Tweedle-Dee who nodded mutely. "It was a pleasure to meet you Miss Grayson, perhaps we'll be able to speak again sometime," he said to Brenda the Source For All Gossip at Baden, Baden and Hoff. She nodded once, glanced at Edward again, then hurried quickly away.

Well, Edward thought wryly as Roy ushered him down the hall toward the outer doors, at least he had the satisfaction that he'd given Brenda the Need To Know Whether You Want To Or Not the company scoop of the century.

* * *

"The automail is fine?" Roy asked when they got in the car. 

"Yeah, bunch of worry warts in there. It's good automail you know, a little chemical spill isn't going to hurt it," Ed said, glancing sidelong at Roy then away.

Roy nodded and went about the business of driving them home. Neither spoke, and that was ok, too, because Ed wasn't sure what to say after his...display. He wondered what Roy thought? He wondered if Roy was angry or embarrassed or...ashamed? The silence was growing rather uncomfortable and he kept shifting a lot in his seat feeling like he was twelve again and Roy could see right through him.

"I love it when you kiss me like you did in the hallway," Roy suddenly purred. "It was only utmost propriety that kept me from feeling up your ass. I'm sure your co-workers wouldn't have appreciated it. They might have appreciated it even less if that led to us finding an empty office and available desk space."

Ed turned his head sharply away to stare out the passenger window. Oh fuck, Roy was going to tease him about this until the end of days. What had he done? What monster had he unleashed? He'd _never_ live this down, and because he never could he'd have to kill Roy and that was just tragic. The most tragic thing he could think of since he'd wasted ten years getting to this point only to have to KILL Roy out of love.

Roy kept looking at him, Ed could tell because he could see Roy's reflection in the car window. How was he going to go back to the lab tomorrow? What would he say? It's not like they talked to him anyways, but still. The whole building probably already knew. Brenda probably sent out a memo. One of those little pink ones that was stuck in everyone's in box that talked about company policies or wished someone a happy birthday or someone had a couch for sale. He was sure his went something like: Edward Elric from the R&D labs full on frenched a military General in the hallway around 1:14 this afternoon. Bets on whether he can look anyone in the eye from the next six months will be taken in the cafeteria this afternoon with odds of 4:1.

Ed slapped a hand over his eyes then ran it down his face to cover his mouth.

Fuck.

Ok, so here was his first real challenge of a real relationship and where were all the noble thoughts that flooded his mind _before_ he decided to have a taste of Roy's tonsils? All those thoughts that had galvanized him down that hallway and into Roy's arms, _(more or less)_, in the first place?

And why hadn't he told him he loved him?

"Edward, are you alright?" Roy asked, voice suddenly gentle.

"I don't know," Ed said honestly, because he really didn't know, He didn't know how to feel in this moment. He should know, he should know exactly how to feel. He'd practiced for this; he'd taken several test drives. But all that experience was no experience at all. It was a way to pass the time, wasn't it? There was no emotion involved.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Roy asked.

"I do, I just don't know how," Ed said still looking out the window. "I don't understand what it is I'm feeling here. I don't know where I'm coming from. Honestly? I feel like I'm being pulled apart. My mind goes in so many different directions just when I look at you. You make me feel like nothing else in my life has ever felt, and I don't know what to do about it."

Roy nodded once, but he didn't say anything right away. Why should he? Ed was sure he didn't want to hear how he threw his life into a complete tail spin when all Roy ever told him was how he wanted him to be happy.

"Tell me what to do," Ed implored, "you were always good at that."

"No," Roy said simply. "This is something I can't help you with, Ed. As much as it pains me, as much as I _want_ to give you advise...I have to much at stake here, too. I just want you to know that despite being helpless to solve this for you, I am here for you, and I hope that's enough."

They arrived home at that moment and both exited the car in silence. Roy let them into the house and went to hang up his jacket. Ed lingered in the hallway, but then went into the study and sat down at his desk and leaned back in the chair to look at the ceiling. It wasn't long before Roy looked in on him. He'd changed into casual house clothes and he leaned in the doorway.

"Why don't you have a soak or something? I'll make us some dinner," the general offered, being far to kind to Ed, who it turned out, was the actual bastard.

"No," Ed said hoarsely, "I want to have a relationship talk."

Roy said nothing for a moment, but looked down at his feet. Then he nodded, came over, pulled up a chair in front of Ed's desk and sat down. He leaned back, crossed his legs and folded his hands in his lap, looking for all the world like he might be there for some meeting or applying for a job. Ed drummed his steel fingers on the desktop a few times; he couldn't look at Roy directly.

"I don't think I'm upholding my side of this relationship," Ed said finally. "I've noticed the give to take ratio is definitely out of balance."

Roy kept his hands folded tightly, he kept his voice under control; but his heart pounded wildly against his rib cage. Don't let him talk himself out of this, don't let him go. Don't let him give you all this hope and then strip you down to nothing. It's not fair, it's not equivalent. Don't let him go...no matter what he says.

"This relationship is still new," Roy heard his voice say. He remembered, telling himself at the beginning that he would give himself up willingly; that Ed would be the most exhausting of lovers.

"Right," Ed said, clasping his hands together in front of him on the desk, "so I've decided we should work out some sort of payment schedule."

"Payment...schedule?" Roy said, one eyebrow raising.

"Yes," Ed said, nodding, "like...when you cook dinner I do the dishes. That sort of thing."

"I wasn't aware we needed to have some system of returns," Roy said. Then, of course, Roy's mind jumped to just a few hours previous, in a hallway, in a lab, when Ed had scaled him like a cliff and tried to kiss him like a leech. That had been great. What was the return on _that_?

"I just thought, you know, because of this imbalance in the system, I mean we don't want to have a relationship economic crash," Ed said.

Roy leaned forward suddenly, unclasp his hands and planted them on top of Edward's hands on the desk. Ed was so insufferably charming without meaning to be; it was all Roy could do to keep from dragging Ed across the desk and kissing him until neither of them could breathe properly.

"Edward, I think that it's time you know that relationships aren't always fair or equal," Roy said pragmatically. "Sometimes one partner has to put in extra to get a return on his investment and that is perfectly normal. The partner hopes to gain on their investment with interest or dividends by witnessing the happiness of the receiving party. Now, I am the investor, you are the receiving party. I make all my investments with the hope to get a whooping capital gains return. I think I've invested wisely and you are a very promising commodity. Does talking in terms of economic growth make this more comfortable for you?"

"I thought it would," Ed said, "but now I feel like a nutjob. WHY can't I just talk to you about this? What is my hang up? I'm 26 fucking years old! When will I ever be old enough to be sane?" Ed flexed his hands, opened them, laying them palm up and Roy lay is own hands over Ed's.

"You are running yourself in circles," Roy said, soft smiling spreading over his face, looking at their hands.

"Ok,ok, then tell me what to do," Ed wheedled, "clearly I'm not doing this right."

"There is no right way and there is no wrong way, there is just a do," Roy said enigmatically.

Ed stared at their hands for a long moment, then looked up and squared his shoulders.

"I think...no, I _know_ I'm in love with you. I have been for a long time, we both know that. I am afraid, no I am terrified that somehow, someway I'm going to fuck this whole golden set-up. I mean, I have what I want. A stable home life, a good job, friends and _you_, most importantly, you. I starting to think this taking it slow thing isn't good for me, it gives me to much time to think. Stop smirking at me, bastard, you know what I mean. Ok,ok, so Al is more or less good with this,so that makes me happy. I've been here for almost three months and you're still alive, that makes me happier. I have just kissed you in front of the biggest gossip this side of Drachma, so our relationship is now public. What's next?"

Roy wet his lips and met Edward's eyes and Ed raised his own eyebrow, then slowly lowered it.

Oh...oh _yes_. He'd sequestered that off in his mind back when Roy started preaching the slow part; but the slow was over now, wasn't it?

"Was that so hard?" Roy asked, flexing his fingers, stroking over Ed's palms.

All that thinking, all that worrying, all that agonizing...and it was all so simple and right there. Roy's fingertips on his palms started to become more than just a touch.

"Sex is next," Edward said, making sure to meet Roy's eyes.

"Sex is next," Roy confirmed with a slight nod of his head. "I know, academically, you are educated in sex between males."

"I've had time to study up on the subject," Ed said, wrinkling his brow and tilting his head to the side. "It's an interesting dynamic that I don't think any psychology text touches on properly."

"I seem to remember you always learned best with the hands on method," Roy said smoothly. "I could volunteer some of my time in a demonstrative capacity."

"You're flirting with me," Ed mumbled, looking off to the side, "why is that so fucking embarrassing?"

"I don't know," Roy said, leaning even closer. "Do you like it? I can flirt with you endlessly you know, you're that inspiring."

Ed squared his jaw and turned back to face Roy. He suddenly gripped Roy's hands in his and pulled Roy toward him, forcing the older man up out of his chair and his chest down onto the desk. Ed couldn't help but grin, keeping his grip tight as Roy reflectively tried to pull back.

"You should see your face," Ed said, then pressed his forehead to Roy's, keeping him prisoner there. "You look like you think I might eat you."

"What would you say if I said I wish you _would_," Roy said, trying to focus on Ed's face, "I would gladly serve as your meal."

Ed growled then, released Roy's hands but immediately grabbed his upper arms to keep him in place and then he kissed him. He crushed his mouth over Roy's, forced his tongue against Roy's and tried to draw him in. So Roy wanted to be eaten, did he? Ed was _starving_.

And Roy did the most amazing thing, he _let_ Ed do as he pleased. He opened his mouth to facilitate Ed's invasion, he didn't try to struggle away even though the lip of the desk must be biting into his stomach and he made _sounds_. Delicious wet sounds, pleased sounds, the type of sounds Ed had never appreciated before. The vibration of Roy's sounds prickled along Ed's spine and went straight to his crotch. So much _sound_. He wasn't sure how long he kept Roy there, but when he finally pulled back for air, Roy was panting slightly, too.

Ed eased up on his grip in increments until he let Roy go, and Roy backed off the desk. They just studied each other for a few minutes, neither sure what the other might be thinking.

"Ok my thoughts are this," Ed began, because he was tired of all the pauses that allowed embarrassment to take root, and by just plunging ahead he sought to till up the quiet and letting nothing grow, "technically I'm a virgin again. I don't really know my way around here so I'm going to have to be shown the ropes, I'm hope you know the look of the ropes and are willing to give some instruction. I guess the topic of who gets to be top and bottom comes up in these sorts of situations and yeah, I'm not the savvy one, but I think I might be better on top. No, call it a gut feeling, but I'm thinking I would be must better suited to being the man in bed. Did I say man? I meant top, I'm not inferring in any way, shape or form you're the woman. There are no women here. You and I are both guys, no women involved. We're doing a guy thing that is two guys...doing this thing. Ok fuck, I sound like Al, I should stop now."

Roy just grinned and held out his hand. Ed came around the desk and took it. He laced his fingers with Roy's tightly and let himself be tugged down the hall. Roy stopped then, just outside his bedroom door.

"Here or your room?" he asked, running the pad of his thumb over the back of Ed's hand.

A choice of venues. Ed looked down the hall toward his room. In contrast to Roy's sparse and neatly kept bedroom, Ed's room was a ever changing vista of interesting bits and ends. Not to mention four stately gargoyles loomed high above, perched on the crown molding. His bed was bigger than Roy's, lusher and probably piled with his latest notes. He had 7 pillows, he couldn't remember why. It was _his_ room in _his_ home and he decided if he was going to fuck Roy's brains out, it should be in there. So now it was his turn to tug.

Roy followed easily, even herded Ed a little and they both grin and half stumbled through the door. There they stopped to kiss and Roy kicked the door closed behind them. Ed pulled back to look up at him and grinned and Roy felt his breath catch. The curve of Ed's check still held all the appeal it had years ago, when Roy longed to touch it. So he did, reaching up to cup it, run his thumb across it. He could do this at his leisure now, and had been indulging periodically. Ed turned his face a little, leaned into the touch for a moment, then reciprocated by brushing his hand down Roy's chest, tucking his fingertips in the waist of Roy's trousers.

"I know I'm not the first man you've had sex with," Ed said, eyes searching Roy's face, "but that doesn't matter. Really I don't think even the gender should matter; on that we are lovers should matter."

"But you're curious," Roy said, tilting his head and starting to edge them closer to Ed's bed, "I can understand that. I might not be a totally open book, but I have places that can be accessed easily enough. All you have to do is ask, and I will answer the best I can."

"Nothing is ever voluntary with you," Ed murmured, reaching the bed and turning to sit on it, tugging Roy down beside him. "I guess I can't say I'm not curious. But I feel like kind of an asshole asking any questions because I am the champion of not holding the past against anybody for obvious reasons."

"In my lifetime, up until this point, I have had two male lovers," Roy said, volunteering just a little. "My first lover was a man, I guess that's surprising."

"It is, kinda," Ed said with a nod. "You know, this asking thing, that works both ways...only you know all my really good fuck-ups and probably all the names of all the women that have dumped me. Funny how I'm laid open flat to you and I know next to nothing about you."

"I'm not an overly personable individual when it comes to the past," Roy acknowledged. "But, for you, I will try to fill in any blanks you would like filled in."

"Ah, well, now I feel like more of an asshole for not knowing anything in the first place," Ed rubbed the back of his neck. "Ok, so, where were you born?"

"Here, in Amestris, not far from old town," Roy said, leaning back on his hands. "There's not much to tell, it's like that book...I am born, I grew up. For me there was military academy courtesy of the legacy of one of my grandfathers."

"Who gave you the slanty black eyes?" Ed said, turning half toward Roy now. "No brothers or sisters?"

"My mother was Xingian," Roy supplied enigmatically without any elaboration, "I was an only child."

"Did you want to be in the military?" Ed asked, leaning forward now, his intent and curiosity an aura around him, "Did you want to be an alchemist?"

"The military was convenient," Roy said, shrugging from his position, "and I sought out alchemy training, so the answer to that is yes. Like your teacher, mine was rather unhappy with me as a result."

"Fuck, is there anything you don't know about me?" Ed grumbled and folded his arms. Then he turned contemplative for a moment, sucked his lower lip for a moment or two and plunged into the big question. "Who were your male lovers before me?" he asked, looking ashamed even as he did it.

"One of them you knew," Roy said easily, "the other you will never know."

"Hughes," Ed half whispered.

"For a while, in academy, right after academy, before Gracia," Roy clarified. "It wasn't like we are here, I knew from the beginning that it would never be like that. We were both young and greedy and horny, pretty horny apparently."

"I hated you for a while, for not telling us when he died. I came to terms with it later," Ed said. "I know you did that to protect us, because you knew we'd...I'd feel responsible. But I think you lost more than you ever let on and I'm sorry that I was to young to see that. I'm sorry, Roy. My brother and I, we didn't do any of you any favors."

Roy reached out then, gathered Ed closed and then tipped them onto the bed, lying facing each other on their sides.

"You asked for nothing," Roy said, stroking the hair off of Ed's cheek. "You worked hard for everything you got, you were willing to do what needed to be done. Did you have any idea how much you were respected? What was done for you was done of the doers own free will. When there is a shining ideal in front of you? You should support it, encourage it and watching it grow. We were looking at our futures, and that is a good thing to look forward to."

Ed just looked at him without speaking, then pushed up on his elbow so he was looking down at Roy. Roy turned onto his back and parted his lips when Ed leaned down to kiss him.

Fingers worked buttons and zippers; pushed fabric along skin. Mouth moved from mouth and on to other parts of the flesh. They half rolled while tugging at clothing. The notes that littered Ed's bed, on top and underneath the covers crinkled; the only sound in the room besides their breath.

Ed was an aggressive de-clother. Roy finally gave up trying to undress himself for Ed's obvious impatience with him. Apparently Roy had been doing it wrong all these years, and he couldn't help but grin when Ed got up on his knees and wrenched his trousers off using a hand over hand technique. Roy's boxers followed in pretty much the same manner and he lifted an eyebrow at Ed who seemed to be studying him in the fashion he would study a specimen in his lab.

"I think I'm bigger," Ed said with much satisfaction, and then handily bounced around getting his own pants and boxers off. Roy rolled onto his side again, propped his elbow in his chin and gave Ed the once over once Ed had gotten naked.

"See?" Ed flopped back and spread his legs shamelessly. "Somehow, I feel ok with all those short jokes you use to make now," Ed grinned wickedly.

"Very impressive," Roy murmured, voice dropping, eyes going heavy lidded. "May I?" He made a gesture toward Ed's display. "I'd like a closer examination."

"Sure," Ed said, squirming a little. "I thought you were going to make one of those, it's not the size, it's the skill comments. Well I've got skills; not that I can give you any good references because, well, they all hate me, I'm sure they'd want to make me look bad," Ed half snorted. "You know, women really know how to push every button you got, even some you didn't realize you had...AH," Ed lifted his head and looked down his body. He watched a moment because, really, what an amazing place for Roy's mouth to be. For once thing, it wasn't where Ed expected; it was lower. He felt a tongue run over his balls, then the odd and incredible sensation of suction. If the sight of Roy's head between his legs wasn't enough, the fact that Roy was sucking on his_balls_ was. He groaned, hard and loud and felt his spine curl up from the bed. He tried to spread his legs wider, because after all, Roy needed room to work and he worked his fingers in the bedsheets in circles, trying to bore into the mattress.

A sudden light stroke in that area between his balls and anus made him yelp and his thighs felt like steel cables they tightened up so much. Roy lazily moved a hand over Ed's stomach, briefly investigated his navel, _(moving before Ed could shriek about it)_, and then seemed to follow the light trail of wispy hair that lead into his groin. When Roy made contact with Ed's cock, he gripped it tightly around the base. Ed grunted and found it was an effective handle for him, because Roy used it in exactly that way. He pulled up on Ed's cock to get his balls higher and grunted in satisfaction when it worked. Ed however was help partially suspended by his own damn cock. And Roy wasn't rubbing it, he was using it as a means of _control_. Ed tried a series of half-exasperated noises through his nose to signal his discontent at this development, but they fell on deaf ears.

Ed had his balls played with before; but he'd never had them _worked over_ before. They felt so heavy, so hot and Roy kept making these fucking noises like this was the best thing in the world and FUCK, his cock was _hurting_; something had to give. He tried an angry squirm with his hips and Roy just squeezed his cock tighter and DAMMIT, he didn't like it and he loved it and what the fuck was Roy going to do, keep him from coming until he lost his damned mind?

Roy pulled up then, as if on cue and released Ed. He sat on his knees and surveyed his creation and Ed bared his teeth and pushed up on his elbows. Roy reached out and laid his fingertips on the head of Ed's cock, toyed briefly with the foreskin.

"If you're going to do this, there are some things we need," Roy's voice, low and smooth throttled off Ed's angry demand. "The most important thing, of course, will be lubricant."

"I thought of that already, bastard," Ed said, sounding breathless, "it's in that jar thing on the side table, it's been there for a while. Ah fuck, ah fuck...," Ed reached down to rub at himself and Roy made a tsking noise.

"I thought you wanted to put that to other uses. I can finish you off, if you like," Roy said, retrieving the jar and unscrewing the lid.

Ed scrambled to push himself into a sitting position, watching Roy intently. Roy offered him the jar.

Ed took it slowly, peered into it although he knew it's contents and looked at Roy again. It was the moment of truth, if you will. It was to this point that all other points seemed moot. Roy took one of Ed's many pillows, settled it down then he lay down across it,when it under his hips. He turned and looked over his shoulder at Ed.

"Oh fuck, no pressure huh?" Ed said, holding the jar now like it was dynamite. "I mean, you've had all this experience and you know, you've been with all these people and really I haven't been with that many. I'm starting to think ten years wasn't enough."

"Ed..." Roy started, pushing up to get on his knees.

"No, I mean, I've been waiting for this and now, I mean _fuck_, Hughes, how am I suppose to compete with that? I know what he meant to you, I don't care if you say it wasn't serious like us, fuck, fuck, what's wrong with me?" Ed turned quickly, sat the jar on the bedside table on his side of the bed.

Roy got to his knees, crawled to settle on them in front of Ed and didn't let the flinch Ed gave when he touched his shoulders put him off.

"Ed, stop this. It's alright. It's ok to be nervous. I remember being so nervous I thought I'd be sick to my stomach. I know how you are; you put such tremendous pressure on yourself it's a wonder you don't break. But I've watched you, I've watched your resilience. This will pass, it's just the jitters, trust me," Roy said, then tilted his head and leaned down a bit to kiss Ed.

Ed shook his head, tucked his chin in an attempt to avoid Roy's lips, but it couldn't be helped. He gasped and gulped through the kiss, his own hands balled into fists and resting on his thighs.

"Calm down," Roy said. "There is no sense in getting yourself so worked up over this," he kneaded on Ed's shoulders soothingly.

"Says you," Ed managed to gasp out. "I'm only fucking up _again_! You know, you'd think I'd learn by now I can't have the good things in life. FUCK, what the hell is this?"

"An anxiety attack, perhaps?" Roy offered. "I don't want you to hyperventilate, so try to even out your breathing."

"I'm not prone," Ed wheezed, "to anxiety attacks. Not my...nature," Ed took a few more deep breaths and set his jaw.

"Allergies? Something you ate? Some of the chemicals you spilled at the lab?" Roy asked, rubbing his chin. "It wouldn't be my cologne,I'm using the same brand I always use..."

"No rash," Ed gasped, "no running eyes or nose, no swelling," Ed took a few more deep breaths.

"Some blocked memory of why you would never have sex with me in the first place?" Roy teased gently.

Ed screwed one eye shut and tried to bare his teeth, but it came out as a grin anyways.

"Fuck you," Ed said, hands relaxing and breathing beginning to even out. "Don't fucking tease me, asswipe. God, I feel like an idiot."

Roy reached up and took Ed's head between his hands and titled his forehead against Ed's. Ed reached up to cover Roy's hands and they sat there for a minute or so, just being close.

"Better?" Roy asked.

"Yeah, sorry, you must think I'm some sort of freak," Ed laughed weakly. "I always do this, promise me you'll never let me get me, ok?"

"As long as you don't let my nose get stuck in the atmosphere, we'll both be ok, now, where were we?" Roy said. He gave Ed a quick kiss on his forehead and sat back on his heels.

"We were at the part where I was going to use the lube," Ed said. "Well past second base."

"Ah," Roy said, holding up a finger, "that's right. You know, I was being pretty presumptuous earlier, do you even want me on my stomach? You know, doing me on my back is called sweet side up," Roy wiggled his eyebrows.

"...get on your stomach," Ed growled, turning to retrieve the lube.

* * *

Ed was a little stiff with the preparation. Some soft instructions and gripping Ed's wrist a time or two solved that. Ed was a quick learner, he absorbed every sound Roy made, every movement, and he analyzed it, cataloged it for future use. 

Ed's weight on his back felt good. He liked the press of bare flesh, he always had. He liked Ed's breath heavy in his ear; he liked the way Ed fit along his spine; he even liked the way Ed wasn't quite tall enough to get to his ear, so lapped at the nape of his neck instead.

There was some negotiation, some grunting and a lot of reassurance; and then there was a joining. They both trembled with the moment, the culmination of a lot of determination, heartache and preservernce. It was a moment of truth in which they had both believed in. It was the rest of their lives, together, the way they wanted to be.

It wasn't spectacular, but it wasn't bad, it was just new.

Just like this thing they had, that had a proper name; a relationship.


End file.
